How to Get Your Best Friend Back: Repairing a Broken Friendship

How to Get Your Best Friend Back: Repairing a Broken Friendship

Has your best friend stopped talking to you? Have they pulled away or acted distant, leaving you wondering what happened? Losing your best friend can feel devastating. But with some reflection and effort, you may be able to patch things up.

Reconnecting with an estranged best friend takes sensitivity and courage. You'll need to understand why your friend feels hurt before making amends. Sincere apologies, rebuilding trust gradually, and rediscovering what you cherish most about each other can get your treasured friendship back on track.

Read on to learn tips for reconciling with your best friend after a falling out. With care, openness and patience, you can find your way back to being besties again.

Reflecting on What Went Wrong

Before reaching out to your best friend, take time to reflect on what went wrong. Understanding their perspective is crucial for reconciling after a rift in your friendship.

Consider Your Role in the Situation

Think deeply about your recent interactions. Could you have said or done something to upset, offend or hurt your friend? Even if you didn't intend harm, your actions may have come across differently than you realized. Owning up to mistakes or miscommunications shows maturity and care for the friendship.

For example, did you:

• Cancel plans with them repeatedly?
• Forget important dates or events?
• Spread rumors or break a confidence?
• Criticize their choices?
• Act jealous or controlling?

Consider writing a letter to your friend apologizing for your role in the situation - but don’t send it yet. This can help you reflect and clarify what you want to say later.

Try to Understand Their Point of View

Put yourself in your friend's shoes. Think about how your actions or words may have landed from their perspective. Even if you feel unfairly accused, try to understand why your friend feels hurt or let down.

Could differences in backgrounds, personalities or experiences have caused wires to get crossed? Making an effort to see their side demonstrates care for the friendship.

Reaching Out: How to Apologize to Your Best Friend

Once you have reflected, it’s time to reach out. A sincere, specific apology communicating your remorse is key. Follow up later by suggesting small ways to start rebuilding trust.

1. Apologize Sincerely

A genuine apology recognizing your friend's feelings goes a long way. Say you are sorry for a specific action, or that you realize your behavior was hurtful. Use "I statements" - like "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when you needed me." This shows responsibility rather than blaming them.

Explain that you value their friendship and want to make things right again. But avoid demanding an immediate response. Your friend may need space before they are ready to reconcile.

2. Express How Much They Mean to You

Remind your best friend why they matter so much to you. Share favorite memories and inside jokes. Open up about how losing their friendship has impacted you.

Hearing how much you cherish them can soften any hurt feelings. But keep the focus on appreciating your bond - not asking them to forgive instantly.

3. Suggest Small Steps to Rebuild Trust

After sincerely apologizing, propose incremental ways to reconnect that feel comfortable for them. These could include:

• Grabbing coffee or a meal in a public place
• Reminiscing over old texts or photos
• Attending a sports game, concert or event together
• Working on a volunteer project side-by-side

Low-stakes interactions like these can gradually rebuild the rapport and trust that may feel shaken. Don't rush or force things. Rebuilding a friendship after a breach of trust takes time.

Reconnecting in Person: Rekindling the Friendship

Once your best friend agrees to meet up, thoughtfully plan activities focused on bonding and reconciliation. Avoid heavy conversations initially - keep things lighthearted and fun instead.

Do Things You Both Love Together

Suggest shared hobbies and interests you can enjoy in each other's company. Is there a TV show you used to binge watch together? Did you bond over baking desserts or playing volleyball?

Revisiting fun rituals from your friendship reminds you both of what you cherish most. Laughter and joy are the best medicines after a painful falling out.

Create New Shared Experiences

Trying novel activities together also allows you to rediscover why you clicked in the first place. Consider:

• Taking a fun day trip or weekend getaway
• Signing up for a class like pottery painting or cooking
• Starting a new hobby like rock climbing or paddleboarding
• Playing tourist for a day in your hometown

Enjoying fresh adventures on neutral ground allows you to bond over brand new memories. Avoid talking about the past - focus on making new inside jokes and stories.

Discuss Problems More Constructively Going Forward

Once your rapport feels restored, you can gradually begin to address the issues that led to your falling out. But have these conversations gently and without accusations.

Listen carefully and don't get defensive. If you feel yourselves growing upset, table the discussion for another time. Handle disagreements maturely and with empathy.

Explain how you hope to communicate differently going forward - like giving each other undivided attention or truly listening. This can get your friendship on healthier ground.

Respecting Boundaries to Maintain the Friendship

As you reconcile your friendship, respect each other's boundaries and needs. You may not pick up exactly where you left off - and that's okay. Adjust your expectations and let the friendship evolve organically.

Don't Force Things to Be Like Before

Your best friend may need to regain trust slowly after a significant breach. Don't demand constant contact or an immediate return to how things used to be. Be patient and understanding if they still seem distant.

Give Them Space When Requested

If your friend asks for time apart during the reconciliation process, honor that. Pressuring them to open up or spend time together before they are ready will only overwhelm them.

Prioritize Quality Over Quantity of Interactions

Focus on having open, honest interactions in the moments you do reconnect. Don't worry about tallying up frequent phone calls or meetups. Emotional availability matters more than quantity of contact as you rebuild intimacy.

Discuss and Agree on Mutual Boundaries

Once reconciled, discuss how you can respect each other's needs going forward. Would fewer spontaneous drop-ins help? Would scheduled check-ins work better than constant texts?

Setting mutually agreed upon boundaries prevents future misunderstandings down the road.

Stay Hopeful - It Is Possible to Repair a Broken Friendship

If your cherished best friend seems lost, don't lose hope. With time, space, sincere apologies and gradual trust building, you can absolutely reconcile a broken friendship. Use this period of distance to reflect on why your bond matters.

When you're both ready, meet up with an open heart and mind. Revisit fond memories, create new ones, communicate more sensitively, and respect each other's pace. While you may not forget the pain of your falling out, you can emerge with a friendship that's even stronger.

The Key Is Letting Your Caring For Each Other Lead the Way

As long as you are motivated by genuine love for your friend, almost any rupture can mend. Don't force things or make demands. Let patience, understanding and small gestures of appreciation repair the cracks.

Soon enough, that irreplaceable beaming smile of your best friend will be lighting up your heart again. Those long talks, belly laughs and treasured moments will flow naturally once more.

Have you reconciled a valuable friendship you thought was lost? What advice would you offer others trying to reconnect with an estranged bestie? Share your stories and tips in the comments to inspire and help more friends find their way back to each other.

Frequently Asked Questions: Reconnecting With an Estranged Best Friend

Rebuilding a damaged friendship takes sensitivity, courage and patience. Here are some common questions about reconciling with a best friend after a falling out:

1. My best friend won’t accept my apology. What should I do?

Don’t force it. Give them more time and space if they aren’t ready to reconcile. Send one last message explaining you're here when they're ready. Avoid pressuring them to forgive instantly - that will likely backfire. Focus on reflecting on the friendship and your role in the rift. When emotions have cooled, try again from a loving place.

2. We had a big blow-up fight. How do I reconnect after such an intense clash?

Sit with your feelings before reaching out. Write an unsent letter to help process the argument. When you’re calm, acknowledge their perspective and apologize sincerely. Suggest meeting just to listen, not debate. With emotional clashes, start small - maybe a coffee date. Rebuilding will take time after intense friction. Move slowly and rebuild trust step by step.

3. I think this falling out was mainly a misunderstanding. What’s the best way to clear the air?

Even if you feel wrongfully accused, take responsibility for your part. “I realize I wasn’t being clear when I said X. I didn’t mean to imply Y.” Explain your true intentions but don’t demand they see your side yet. Suggest talking more when you’re both open to understanding each other's perspectives. Misunderstandings can heal when you validate their feelings and clarify respectfully.

4. My friend seems happier without me. Is it too late to reconcile?

It’s natural to feel doubtful after drifting apart. But don’t assume the worst. They may have filled the gap in their life where your bond used to be. When you sincerely reach out, they may remember how much your friendship means. Suggest reminiscing over fun memories to rekindle fond feelings. If they’ve moved on, reflect on what you’ve learned for future friendships.

5. How can I apologize for ghosting my best friend?

Being ghosted can damage self-esteem. Acknowledge that disappearing hurt them; don’t make excuses. “I was in a bad place but that’s no excuse for abandoning our friendship. I realize how my silence must have hurt you and I’m truly sorry.” Offer to talk about what was going on for you. Rebuilding trust after ghosting takes consistency over time.

6. My friend wants space during reconciliation. How much time apart is too long?

There's no set timeline - go at their pace. Check in every 2-3 weeks with low-key texts: “Thinking of you!” “Saw this meme and it made me laugh - reminded me of you!” If they consistently ignore your check-ins after 2 months, send one last message: “I’m here if you ever want to talk again.” Then respect their boundaries.

7. How can I tell if my friend has forgiven me and moved on?

Healing takes time after a major breach of trust. Notice if they start to share more about their life, laugh at inside jokes, and make plans to hang out. But don’t demand they act like everything’s normal instantly. Focus on rebuilding intimacy step by step versus judging their level of forgiveness. Consistency and care will show over time.

8. We reconciled but it doesn’t feel the same. Did too much damage occur?

The friendship may evolve after a falling out - you can’t erase the past. But different doesn’t mean worse. Cherish the renewed closeness you’ve built. Look for new ways to deepen it - share vulnerabilities, support dreams, listen without judgment. Your history together lays a foundation. Water that soil with love, communication and patience. The friendship can blossom even more beautifully this time.

Reconciling with a best friend requires optimism, courage and baby steps. But many realize their bond is even stronger for having weathered the storm. Trust your care for each other to light the path. You may find your best friend was worth fighting for all along.