The Surprising Health Benefits of Friendship (And Why It's So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult)

Friendship. It's one of life's greatest gifts that we often take for granted. Our friends hold a special place in our heart that can't be replaced by anyone else. They are the ones we confide in, rely on, laugh with, and make memories with. But friendship is more than just having fun together - it actually provides some powerful benefits for your physical and mental health.

The Science-Backed Health Perks of Friendship

While we intuitively know that our friends play an integral role in our happiness, several scientific studies have confirmed that strong social ties and friendship can boost your health in multiple ways. Here are some of the key benefits:

Friendship Supports Mental Health

Loneliness and social isolation are major risk factors for depression, anxiety, and cognitive decline. However, numerous studies illustrate how friendship acts as a safeguard for mental health:

Social Support. Friends provide emotional support and a listening ear, acting as a buffer against stress, loneliness, and depression. The feeling that someone “has your back” helps regulate emotions.
Oxytocin Release. Oxytocin is a hormone released when we bond and socialize. It promotes wellbeing by reducing stress, anxiety, and fear. More face-to-face time with friends means more oxytocin!
Mental Stimulation. Engaging conversations and shared activities with friends help stimulate the mind, boosting mental acuity and memory. This protects against cognitive impairment.
Sense of Purpose. Enjoyable social ties give us a sense of belonging and purpose. This helps ward off existential dread and depression.

In essence, friendship equips us with the psychological tools to navigate life’s ups and downs. This solid mental footing has concrete impacts on physical health as well.

Friendship Boosts Physical Health

While the mental perks of friendship are clear, research reveals that strong social ties can reduce health risks and mortality:

Lower Blood Pressure. Numerous studies link healthy relationships with lower blood pressure. Social support helps regulate body systems impacted by stress, including cardiovascular function.
Better Immunity. Friendship helps ward off infections and illness. Loneliness suppresses the immune system, making us more susceptible to bugs and viruses. But social integration and close relationships boost immunity.
Increased Longevity. One meta-analysis found that individuals with strong social relationships had a 50% increased likelihood of survival compared to isolated individuals. Friendship literally helps extend lifespan!
Faster Recovery. During illness and life challenges, friends provide tangible assistance and emotional comfort. This helps speed up recovery time across various health conditions.

Across the board, human connection demonstrates powerful protective effects on physical health. But why, exactly, is friendship so invaluable?

Why Are Friends So Good For Your Health?

Scientists are still researching the precise reasons for the health benefits of friendship. Some of the key explanations include:

Behavior Monitoring. Friends often encourage healthy lifestyles and monitor each other’s habits. This motivation helps reduce risky behaviors.
Stress Management. Lower cortisol, oxytocin release, and other biochemical pathways induced by friendship mitigate the damaging effects of stress on the body.
Sense of Belonging. Feeling embedded in a social group satisfies our fundamental need for connection. This equips us to face life’s challenges.
Tangible Assistance. Friends provide real, on-the-ground help, transportation, caregiving, and resources during difficult times.
Positive Psychology. Laughter, joy, and good memories shared with friends boost our overall happiness and outlook - powerful factors in health outcomes.
Brain Stimulation. Engaging conversation and shared activities with friends stimulate the brain, boosting cognitive reserves against decline.

While more research is still needed, these pathways help explain why friendship provides such a profound advantage for mental and physical wellbeing.

But if friendship is so beneficial, why is it often so hard to make and maintain good friends as adults?

The Challenges of Making Friends as an Adult

While childhood friendships often form naturally, making new friends typically gets harder as we settle into adulthood. Some of the key obstacles include:

Major Life Changes

As we progress through different life stages, our friendships are put to the test:

Marriage and Children. While wonderful additions to life, marrying and having kids often reshapes or ends friendships. Time constraints and shifting priorities strain connections.
Work Demands. Long work hours and commutes make it hard to coordinate social plans. Professional pressures often take priority over friendship maintenance.
Geographic Moves. Relocating for jobs, family, or other reasons uproots us from friend circles. Starting from scratch socially in a new town is challenging.

Navigating these shifts in priorities, time, and location during adulthood makes preserving existing friendships - much less cultivating new ones - difficult.

Finding Common Ground

As we age, the social opportunities and built-in community of school and youth fall away. Finding like-minded individuals with shared interests becomes more effortful.

Different Lifestages. It’s often hard to relate to those in vastly different chapters of life and build closeness naturally.
Lack of Shared Activities. Without school or structured activities, finding regular shared hobbies or interests to bond over can be tough.
Social Anxiety. Many adults experience social anxiety or awkwardness that makes putting themselves out there frightening. Rejection sensitivity escalates.

Overcoming these barriers to identify potential friend candidates takes intention, vulnerability, and effort.

Tips for Making Friends as an Adult

Given the health perks of friendship - and roadblocks to making new friends as an adult - what can you do to cultivate meaningful friendships? Here are some proven tips:

Take Initiative

Sign up for classes, clubs, Meetups, volunteering, or social sports based on your interests. Don’t be afraid to strike up conversations and suggest grabbing food afterwards.
Organize get-togethers like dinners, parties, or weekend activities. Bring together different social circles to expand your network.
Try to say “yes” to more social invites, even if they are slightly outside your comfort zone. Each event is an opportunity to bond.

Go Online

Leverage social media and niche forums to find local people who share your hobbies, values, or cultural background.
Download Bumble BFF to connect with others looking for friends.Video chat or meet up in person once you hit it off.
Join special interest Facebook Groups or Subreddits and participate consistently. You’ll develop a rapport that can extend offline.

Deepen Existing Bonds

Make more quality time for current casual friends and acquaintances you would like to get closer to.
Have deeper conversations to build understanding and trust. Open up and be vulnerable about your life.
Follow up to make concrete plans for future get-togethers rather than vague promises to “hang out soon.”

Challenge negative thought patterns like, “I’m too busy” or “Nobody will like me” that sabotage making new connections.
Release perfectionism. Don’t get discouraged if some efforts flop, it takes trial and error. Reframe short interactions as stepping stones.
Push past shyness by focusing outwardly on learning about others, rather than inwardly on your awkwardness. Fake it until you make it!

The Rewards Are Worth the Work

Making new friends often requires effort, courage, and persistence - especially amid the complications of adult life. But the payoff for your health, happiness, and resilience is immense. Even just deepening a few existing ties can boost your wellbeing.

Friendships ultimately cannot be “scheduled” or forced. Allow relationships to develop organically by putting yourself out there consistently over time. As you nurture social nourishment, you’ll be building lifelong bonds that support you through life’s ups and downs. Our friends truly become our chosen family. Keep striving to expand your circle, and your health will reap the benefits.

FAQs

What are the most important factors for making close friends as an adult?

Some key factors that help facilitate close adult friendships include having shared interests/hobbies, frequent quality time together, vulnerability/self-disclosure, patience, and an openness to making the first move to initiate plans. Moving beyond politeness to deeper intimacy and understanding takes time. But investing in true friendship is worth it!

Are online friendships as beneficial for your health as in-person friends?

While online friends can certainly provide social support, scientific research suggests that in-person social interaction provides the most health benefits. Physical presence enables many social cues, touch, oxytocin release, laughter, and activities that online interactions lack. That said, digital friends are better than no friends at all!

What tips can help maintain childhood friendships into adulthood?

To preserve childhood friendships, minimize judgment about lifestyle changes, make flexibility a priority, visit each other’s homes/cities when possible, reminisce about positive past memories often, and accept that friendships will evolve. But core understanding built up over years makes the history you share uniquely special.

How do you balance friendship with other priorities like family and work?

It takes effort to nurture friendships amid life's busyness. Set regular "friend dates," communicate openly about your constraints, limit friends' guilt about your priorities, condense quality time together, leverage texting/digital connection between meetups, involve friends in family activities if possible, and get creative!

If I'm introverted, how can I boost my comfort with making new friends?

Introverts often struggle with small talk and new social situations. Take small steps out of your comfort zone, focus on listening to others, bond over less intense one-on-one activities at first, be your authentic self, and leverage online forums to vet compatibility before meeting new potential friends. Go at your own pace!

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